Imeeji: App

[honoraria]

Player name: Cheshire
Player age: 18+
Method of contact: Cheshire#9758 + ivoryandhorn @ plurk/gmail

Character name: Cecy
Character canon: OC

Canon summary:

Cecy was born Cecil Morgan Harper at the turn of the 20th century, the eldest son of a comfortably middle-class family in the UK. He dutifully aimed to become a solicitor like his father, and when WWI began, he volunteered, swept away by rhetoric and general patriotic fervor.

He returned from WWI with PTSD and a profound disillusionment with, uh, every authority figure in his life. He looked elsewhere for meaning and found it among artists and counter-cultural movements. Cecy spent so much time seeking meaning that he was kicked out of law school and, as a result, disowned by his father and kicked out of his home.

Fortunately, Cecy's new friends helped him land on his feet. He worked, partied, and wrote furiously, burning the candle at both ends and in the middle for good measure. All in the pursuit of his art. (And to avoid dealing with his problems.) During this time, he met a Mysterious Stranger at a gathering where he was asked to share a poem he'd written. The stranger, aka Lucy, tore it apart intelligently and wittily -- and Cecy was instantly smitten. The two began a tumultuous romance and it was a good, for a while. Then, after a little over a year, Lucy vanished without a trace.

Cecy was totally crushed by Lucy's disappearance. In a lot of ways it was the last straw and many personal issues he'd been studiously ignoring reared their heads to bite, this time with feeling. He became fixated on finding Lucy again, figuring that if he could become famous -- or rather, infamous -- he could somehow attract Lucy back. To that end, he published a volume of poetry and engaged in ever wilder exploits, riding that bad decision dinosaur into the grave before his 30th birthday.

Upon dying, Cecy learned to his surprise that God was real, so was the Devil, and his profligate sinning meant he was bound for Hell.

Nearly 400 years of various tortures later, Lucy wandered by. Surprise: Lucy had been Lucifer all along. He recognized Cecy and decided he was not on with another demon touching his thing. Lucy killed the demon and shoved Cecy's soul into the demon's body, thereby returning him to the land of the corporeal, before wandering off once more. Thus leaving Cecy alone in Hell, surrounded by demons circling like sharks.

Cecy was scooped up by a faction of demons who kept him as a treasured :) guest :), schooling him about the cosmic game between God and Lucy, helping him acclimate to the future, and demanding to know why Cecy was so special to Lucy. They would not believe Cecy when he said he wasn't special, and Cecy knew their patience was wearing thin. So, he took the Earthly assets still tied to the former owner of his body and ran -- and has continued to run, trying to escape everyone who wants something from him and find some peace and quiet.

Character in canon:

Cecy's gone through a few personality upheavals over his life. In his youth he was rather dreamy and easygoing. He made friends easily and was a dutiful and obedient son who never really questioned the path expected of him in life.

WWI changed all of that, with the biggest change being, simply, disillusionment. He was deeply embittered and angry at how the young men of his generation had been sent to die horrible, stupid, meaningless deaths by comfortable old men. But he was also deeply lost and wished for a new source of meaning in his life. He found both an outlet for his anger and existential guide in underground and counter-cultural art movements. In this period of his life Cecy was mostly governed by passion; he indulged recklessly in drugs, alcohol, sex, every vice he could lay his hands on and a few more besides. He also hurled himself into his work (translating underground literature), socializing, and his own artistic endeavors (poetry). He was still outgoing and social and made friends easily, but he was more irritable and hot-tempered, careless with his sharp tongue. He got in a lot of fights, not all of them verbal. But beneath his vibrant exterior was a whole host of problems he was carefully avoiding: PTSD from his experiences in WWI, loneliness and hurt at being disowned, buckets of grief for everyone he'd known and lost throughout the war, the stress of building a new life and trying to be a Real Poet. He could never have outrun it all forever, but he was determined to try, preferring to bury himself in the pleasures of the present than confront the painful past.

And then 400 years Hell, and all the things that happened after like being shoved into a new body, finding out the truth about Lucy, and being tossed into The Future, changed him once more. The biggest change is that most of the reckless passion that drove him at the tail end of life has been mostly stifled. Cecy in his present is fearful of...well, a lot of things, understandably. He no longer seeks to argue his way to a new and better world and merely wants to be left alone to enjoy his second lease on life in peace.

Cecy is still a friendly and somewhat outgoing person, if much less of a social butterfly. While he is good at stapling on a witty face, most of his interactions are covers for boatloads of anxiety and worry about doing something wrong, attracting the wrong kind of attention, and so on. While he genuinely enjoys being around people -- normal people! who aren't screaming! -- it is a rather stressful activity and he's always watching himself very carefully. He minds his manners, sticks to conversation he's comfortable with, and actively avoids anything that hints at conflict. In his mannerisms he's closed off: he slouches, keeps his limbs close, etc. In speech he tends more towards elaborate and playful comments because he's still, you know, a nerdy poet. He's still easily irritated and frustrated but he's far, far more careful about his reactions and getting mouthy, and will usually bite his tongue or consciously de-escalate. Though under extreme stress, this tends to fall by the way side, since at that point he's probably preoccupied with more important things.

Despite Cecy's friendly nature, he is very reluctant to get close to people. Among the small pleasures he values is solitude and privacy. And, well, a lot of the new means of socializing in The Future still escape him a bit. Between that, the fact that interaction is itself a stressful activity, and his constantly moving around anyway to get away from various movers and shakers who consider him a person of interest in the capital-A Apocalypse, it adds up to it being difficult for him to build up to closer relationships. The actual existence of Heaven, Hell, God, the Devil is all a secret as well, which limits Cecy's ability to explain his...everything. (Claiming to be a hipster only takes him so far in explaining his eccentric ways.). So it's one part him, one part circumstance that has him keep most people at a remove. It makes for a lonely existence -- he does like socializing and people -- but he views it as necessary.

As mentioned earlier, Cecy's primary motivation is a desire for peace and safety. There are...a lot of people moving and shaking as his world slides closer to the capital-A Apocalypse and Cecy wants absolutely no part in any of it. He would like nothing more than a life composed of leisurely walks, slowly sipped glasses of wine, and catching up on ~400 years of art and history. Maybe a trip to a museum if he is feeling especially energetic. Choosing to move constantly in order to escape people who consider him a person of interest kind of gets in the way of settling down to peace and quiet but he does his best anyway. This desire for quiet and peace does have a dark side, though. Cecy avoids conflicts and obligations like the plague. He still deals with his problems by running away from them. He'd rather run than confront people chasing him and he'd rather just shove the entire mess of 400 years Hell and its aftermath into a deep, dark pit and refuse to look at or deal with it. Lucy continuing to toy with him post-rescue? Constant terror and uncertainty around Lucy's existence near him? Yep, into the pit that all goes too. His new immortal body that requires no physical sustenance makes it possible for him to ignore things like his spotty appetite and sleep habits and he abuses that shamelessly. If it doesn't hurt him, it can't be a problem, right? And when it comes to external conflict, he actively tries to avoid any kind of involvement whatsoever. If he can't handle a situation, he will exeunt, stage left, as swiftly as possible, rather than try to change it. If pressed to get involved in any conflict, he will immediately do his best to get out of it, and isn't picky about how.

While Cecy's managed to claw himself into something like functionality after everything he's gone through, it's an equilibrium that can be quite fragile. He spooks very easily and is sensitive to loud noises and certain specific scents, sounds, situations, etc. Even the mildest threat of physical pain is terrifying to him and he will generally shut down if placed in a situation where pain is strongly threatened or imminent. Those 400 years in literal Hell taught him a lot about how small and powerless he is, and how useless struggling in a trap is, and that learned helplessness has been indelibly stamped into him. He has depression and anxiety and has good days and bad days. And, well, there is the sheer unlikelihood of his life. The future is so alienating that in his worser moments Cecy sometimes wonders if it isn't all just a dream. After all, how likely is it that the ex he pathetically couldn't get over just so happened to be Literally Satan, and furthermore that Literally Satan cared enough to pick him out of all the hundreds, if not thousands, of humans he's slept with? Not very likely at all. He tries hard not to give in to such thoughts too much because seriously, that's just fucked up, and why would he want to experience whatever "reality" is anyway if it's so bad he has to make up this bullshit. But, that kind of doubt and uncertainty is always lurking.

Still, while he lacks the grandiose passions and ideals he used to have, Cecy is still a stubborn person who is determined to forge his own path in life. No matter how resigned he is to being hunted or unsure about how long his second lease on life will last, he is determined to carve out a place for himself. He is too proud to seek out Heaven (assuming Lucy would ever let him) because he does not want to play by God's rules to get in. Other things that have carried over from his past include his love of languages and literature, specifically poetry, and also his vanity. A good book and fussing over his clothes are among the small pleasures that Cecy values above all else.

TL;DR: Cecy has been through Some Shit and is a retiring person who desperately avoids conflicts and obligations. He's an artist and sensualist who is just wants to build a quiet and happy life for himself while carefully ignoring all his problems.

Character in Imeeji:

No memories would mean FAR less baggage for Cecy. He'd be a lot more relaxed, which means more prone to be honest in his reactions. So he'll be more irritable, more outgoing, generally much less buttoned up and careful about what he's doing and what he's saying. (Expect much more cursing.) That can be both good and bad! Good means it'll be easier for him to open up to people and be open to people. He'll be more curious and less automatically suspicious of everyone. But it also means he'll have less of a rein on his sharp tongue and may end up being more hurtful or careless with his words. He will still be a giant nerd for languages and literature though, and probably fussy about his uniform (especially if it's one that doesn't fit his personal aesthetic).

However! No memories does not mean NO baggage. He will still have a lot of the fears he had before, if less well-defined. He will still spook easily and be very afraid of physical pain. Certain situations will have him feeling distressed or uneasy until he realizes what he is specifically reacting to. And that may take him some time to pick up on, depending on what it is and what kind of memories he gets back. Even if his temper or tongue might run away with him occasionally, there will still be a large reluctance to get over-involved in conflicts and a tendency to try to de-escalate or avoid conflict. This could be interesting in games, actually, since running away from making decisions that engender conflict really won't be an option. He won't be able to leave, nor will he be able to fake his way into a position where he can leave. It will probably be quite distressing and might even lead to conflict with his team. Exposure to other people's reasons for making or not making choices in games may also have an impact on him and his own understandable but selfish desire to avoid having to do that.

Cecy's memories obviously contain a LOT of distressing content and also cover a fair bit of time. I'd be careful about his memories OOCly. Too many Hell memories too soon would very quickly spook him out of taking any memories and I do want him to have a reason to get back stuff around Hell as well. So, I'd have to handle ordering those carefully, as well as how they're written up, probably using a mix of specific incidents and vague montages. Also most of his memories pre-demon body will apparently feature someone who doesn't look like him at all, which is something I'd want to play with and which will certainly be confusing and distressing for him. I would probably also be careful about order here since he might decide the Producers are just fucking with him and stop taking memories.

Voice Samples:

↬ Evaluate yourself honestly: what do you think your soul is worth?

Exactly 1 point.

...More? Fine. While the soul may objectively exist, it objectively has invariable worth. You can learn rather more from how much an individual thinks their soul is worth.

↬ Is there anything you would do anything to achieve?

Achievement is rather beyond me right now, and so is ambition. All I wish for is peace and quiet. In pursuit of that, I'll take expedience over grand schemes.

↬ What does hell mean to you?

A significant amount.

...More again? If I must. Hell is a place. A very real and very terrible place. One that I spent a lot of time in and never wish to see again. A pit I have escaped but feel breathing down my neck, slow and patient breaths, a leviathan stalking in the dark. Like a loathsome insect, I am dangled over the fire -- but it is not God's fingers that pinch me.

How was that?

↬ Which of these nine words is the most meaningful to you, and why? Idolatry, lies, transgressions, vengeance, sorcery, plague, devastation, inquisition, or temptation?

I'll pick...transgressions. The idea of transgression implies rules, which implies the decision of which ones to break and which ones to leave well alone. Heady stuff. And is it not transgression that lies at the root of the other eight?

↬ Do you want a puppy?

Not particularly. For one thing, I have no place to keep one. For another, I can barely take care of myself. And I'm not cruel enough to inflict what remains of it on another living being.

↬ Have you previously owned a puppy?

I... Maybe. A long time ago. I don't recall.

↬ Are you worried we've been recording this conversation?

In the future, I am assured, all things are recorded somewhere. Which is to say, I took it as a given.

↬ Do you have any last words for us?

Wh--...Don't you have anything better to do, Lucy?